A Campaign You Can Sink Your Teeth Into
Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, 41, of Princeton, Minn., says he’s a real vampire. “I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor” (his wife), “and drink their blood,” he said in an e-mail interview with a reporter. And, he said, he’s serious about running for governor of Minnesota, listing his political affiliation as the leader of the “Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party”. He promises to impale drug dealers, drunk drivers and other criminals on the stake in front of the state capitol. “Unlike other candidates, I’m not going to hide my evil side,” he promised, shortly before the police were called to Sharkey’s apartment and an officer did a routine check on the candidate. The check revealed two felony warrants out of Indiana charging stalking and escape. He was arrested. (Minneapolis Star Tribune, Princeton Union-Eagle) ...And was driven to the state capitol, crying like a little girl the whole way.
Available in This is True: Book Collection Vol. 12