Awwwww!
Clinton Michael Dearman, 38, pleaded guilty to burglary in Christchurch, New Zealand, District Court. Dearman had gone to a private bowling club and was still stacking up his loot when the club opened; its elderly members caught him and hog-tied him for police. His attorney, Michael Knowles, begged the judge to show leniency. Because Dearman was so “incompetent” at burglary and had been captured by old men, Knowles said, he had become a “laughing stock” in jail and would “never be able to hold his head up in criminal company again.” This was thus a “mitigating circumstance” deserving of a lighter sentence. No way, ruled the judge. “In short,” Judge Michael Crosbie said, “if you don’t want media attention, behave yourself.” He sentenced Dearman to 28 months in prison. (New Zealand Press Association) ...In the geriatric block.
Available in This is True: Book Collection Vol. 12